Phineas and Speck: Bleeding Danglies
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"Damn it, Phineas!" Specks pleads as she waves her arms in the air, "You've got to see a doctor."
She glares at her boyfriend through groveling violet eyes.
"I'll be fine, I swear." he says, "I have to get to work."
"Bleeding from your eyes for a week is not fine!" She retorts. She knows she is going to get Phineas to a doctor, whether he likes it or not. There is nothing remotely normal about having blood streaming from your eyeballs. She knows just the thing to say. Just the sort of thing that would get any man to cower to his knees.
"Fine" she says. "If you don't go to the doctor, I will tell everyone at your job about that "fuzzy pink octopus slippers' incident!"
That was the final straw. Phineas went to the nearest transporter pad and beamed straight on over to the first available government physician. A strange looking andorian fellow with a lisp and a weird facial twitch. Manning the intra-spinal control station was a sordid yes graceful former drone cyborg.
"Ah, I just got the page about you Mr. Phineas, your complaint form says you are complaining about bleeding from your eyes?"
"You had to read the form to realize that?"
"No, but its easier that way. Did you ever work for Korvak Innovative Technologies, McDonald's, or any government sanctioned mercenary groups?"
"Yes, I worked for Korvak for a few years when I was a teenager... I did maintenance on the humanoid expirement subjects respiration and digestive processing machines."
"That would explain the problem" the doctor says as his cheek muscles spasms. He pulls a respiration mask from his pocket and takes a huge gasp of the unknown gas contained therein.
"Don't worry then." the doctor says with a falsely reassuring smile. "Korvak implants chips into the brains of all of their employees to keep track of their actions and prevent thought crimes."
"Jesus Christ" Phineas says as he backs away.
"Its a common side effect, really, the whole bleeding from the eyes thing. Not to worry, we have a cure and you should be as good as new."
The doctor walks over the a draw and pulls out what appears to be a dusruptor rifle.
"Now stand still" he assures his human patient "This won't hut a bit."
"Your going to shoot me!"
"Well, yes, but its for you own good. Now trust me, I'm a doctor."
"But I don't want to die! I should be go-"
And with that, a flash of light emits and Phineas is sprawled out in the floor.
Later that evening, Phineas is at home relaxing with Specks.
"So, do you feel any better?" she asks drunkenly through tiredness and nitrous oxide.
"Yes, I suppose I do" Phineas responds thoughtfully. "My eyes have stopped bleeding, but I have been seeing some very strange things lately. The doctor says minor hallucinations are normal. I guess it will just take some getting used to.
END
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