Re: The Dumbest Thing Your Spouse/SO has Ever Said or Done

[SenkoTwiik]

Soul, our husbands have brains in their butts, man.

Haha, DaSpecial1 that would be a good idea. I could probably fill it up in a matter of 2 weeks.

[DaSpecial1]

I don't think it would take that long .  I have 17 years worth of stories.

[SenkoTwiik]

If they're as funny as the popcorn one I'm hooked!

Here's a dumb thing that I supposedly did. I was sound asleep in bed and Brandon was cuddling me and accidentally put his hand on my boob. He said that I suddenly woke up, slapped the crap out of him like 4 or 5 times, in the head and face, and then yelled at him, rolled over and went back to sleep.

I have NO memory of doing something that mean!

[DaSpecial1]

Dream blending with rl at night can cause a reaction: warning to all mates .

[soulofthesea]

I'll keep that in mind if I get married.

[SenkoTwiik]

Brandon is the most terrible person to wake up. He always wakes up thinking he's still asleep and will say some of the stupidest things. He doesn't realize he's saying it and he sounds wide awake. One time I got him up and (this is so stupid) here's what happened:

Me: Hun, wake up. You have to get ready for work
Brandon:Okay, but first I have to go to my house and get that thing with the wheels on it.
Me: What?
Brandon: I have to go to my house.
Me: But you're at your house already.
Brandon: I know! (sounds on the verge of tears)
Me: What's wrong?
Brandon: I think I need to ask an old guy to put a bottle rocket up my butt. Then I'll ask him if he has any Grey Poupon.
Me: What the hell are you talking about-
Brandon: I'll be like, "Pardon me sir. Do you have any (makes fart sound with his mouth) Grey Poupon...(fart sound with his mouth again) Bottle rockets!"

I told him to shut up about this time. I have a whole collection of really dumb things he says without knowing as soon as he wakes up.

[DaSpecial1]

Ok now I know they're twins.  He woke up saying (in an urgent voice) the inspector was coming and he needed to make sure the new (airline) seatbelts were installed.

No he's never worked for the airline industry.

[SenkoTwiik]

Hahah!! That's freakin funny.

One time Brandon asked me to rub his sore back so that he could go to sleep, and I did. Minutes later, he was asleep and said, "Thank you, Grayson." to me. Grayson was one of the students at the boarding school he used to work at.

Another time, he woke up, demanding to know if I had a fun time at the party. I said there was no party, and he insisted that I went to a party at the bar last night. I was 18 at the time and couldn't even legally go to the bar. He's insane!

He can also do this thing to where he falls asleep instantly. He might have narcolepsy or something. The first time it happened, we were in bed, and he said, "I love you, babe. I really...really...*snores*"

[DaSpecial1]

Well he rarely snores but when that happened to me the first couple times I thought he was faking . I was like who falls asleep mid-sentence?

[SenkoTwiik]

I thought mine was faking too, because the snores sounded so fake, but when I tried to wake him up, it didn't work. I even tickled him and everything. He was genuinely asleep. He does it in a matter of a second.

[Paden]

OK, now I know my husband could be related to your guys. He does a lot of similar stuff and it gets plain weird!!

[SenkoTwiik]

Maybe we all should open up a formal research plan to see if all husbands in the world are weird like that.

Mine woke me up in the middle of the night about three weeks ago, very much excited, asking me if I wanted to go on a diet with him. (I was almost 4 months pregnant, and he is 150lbs of skinny). Plus, in waking life he hates diets and freaks out when I want him to eat healthy.

[Paden]

There, I went ahead and split the topic off and also went and edited the posts so that they reflect the name of this thread instead. Have fun!

[DaSpecial1]

Paden  .

Ok so I'm in labor and I've been admitted & having irregular contractions all night. First 2 min, then 5min, then 30seconds, then fifteen--basically I never know when they're going to hit me.  My spouse has been in the labor room all night too but mind you they now had beds and lounge chairs etc., so he could rest if he wanted too plus my sister was there--they actually allowed up to 8 or 12 family members in the room ( wait maybe I'm confusing that with the sims family size limits... Ok add another one to the dumbest things I've ever said) ok well I remember they asked me if more family wanted to join.

Anyway, so I hadn't eaten in over 36 hours and didn't have the epidural ('cause I was gonna be all natural for the baby ) and after a long exhausting night the doc comes in stand next to my bed and says:

"So how are we doing this morning?"

and my spouse (who has been sleeping in the lounge chair beside my bed all night) wakes up and says:

"Whew! I'm worn out! Any chance of taking a break for breakfast?"

Well you know how exhausting sleep can be when someone keeps making noise--moaning with labor pains, disturbing folks who need rest.
 

Oh this thread is going to be great therapy .

[caffeinated.joy]

One of my ex's and I were with a couple friends and we were talking about different foods we like and how what we eat can affect how we feel. My ex opened himself up for my little jab when piped in with, "Even when I was a kid I always preffered vegetables."

I said, "Well, honey, they do say 'you are what you eat'. I guess this would explain a lot."