1001 things I've learned from watching horror movies

[DaSpecial1]

OK, so I was trying to read a synopsis of a movie to find out what it was about when I came across people talking about how awful it was and the funny things they learned by watching it.  So I'm setting out to compile a list...think of it as a handy life-saving manual in case you ever come across a crazed slasher, a jealous ghost, werewolf, alien etc. We'll be writing this guide together each person continuing on from the next number where person above you stopped.

Sarcastic, realistic, helpful, or just plain wacky list all the things you've learned from watching scary movies over the years. I'll begin:

1001 things I've learned from watching horror movies

1. When hiding remember to breathe quietly.

2.  If you absolutely have to make a noise when escaping a psycho-killer and you run and hide, make the sound when you
     first hide rather then waiting until he's standing right beside you.

4.  Blood on the floor tends to be slippery.

5.  Never try to run in heels.

6.  Maniac Q being shot, stabbed, &/or falling four stories doesn't necessarily mean you can take a breather before
     calling the police leaving the vicinity.

[caffeinated.joy]

7. When you hear a strange noise in the darkness, don't send someone off alone to investigate.

[SenkoTwiik]

8. Don't scream whilst running. It's the same as saying, "Here I am! Over here!"

9. Don't say, "I will be right back." because you won't.

[DaSpecial1]

10. Don't aggravate your girlfriend by teasing the angry spirit that's haunting you both.

11. If your terrified partner suddenly decides she's cool with the Ghost/zombie/alien, smiles calmly and says: "I'm fine honey, there's no
     need to leave anymore, really..."  run like your pants are on fire.

[SenkoTwiik]

12. Carry a gun with you. Movie killers always run around with knives and crap like that. This way, if you see them, you can blow them to bits instead of standing there screaming while you're stabbed to death.

13. If you're holding down a fort, hiding from zombies, and you let others into your fort, physically check EVERYONE for human teeth-marks. There's always someone who has secretly been bitten and will just quietly endanger everyone else.

[caffeinated.joy]

14. If you unplug the phone from the wall and it rings, don't answer it!

15. If a knife wielding maniac is chasing you through the house, don't run upstairs (where your options for escape are limited), run outside.

[SenkoTwiik]

16. Always listen to warnings given by creepy old men.

17. Pay attention to the person that "has a bad feeling about this."

[DaSpecial1]

18.  If you get trapped on a school bus in the middle of nowhere it's safer to lay on the floor then stand up.

19. The hunky athlete is never the brave one--stick with the nerdy geeks if you want to live.

20. Monsters/psychos go after the hot chicks first.

21. Locking yourself in the bathroom is never a safe bet.

[SenkoTwiik]

22. Never cry or beg the killer not to kill you...it doesn't help and makes you look spineless.

23. A corn field is NEVER good news.

24. When something strange is going on (zombies, killer running loose) in the news, stay HOME! If you have to leave, make sure your car is FULL of gas.

[DaSpecial1]

Senko



25. If the window is way smaller then you don't try to squeeze through it.

26.  Tiny little kids are not always the good guys.

27. Talking dolls are evil.

[SenkoTwiik]

28. No matter how fast you run, a knife-wielding maniac will always catch up to you at a brisk walk, most likely jumping out from behind a tree or wall.

29. Don't act like a slut. They are always the first to die...usually the most brutal too.

30. Unless you absolutely saw someone die, don't believe that they are dead when someone tells you so. They usually aren't, and tend to be the bad guy in the end.

[DaSpecial1]

31. If you shoot the darn thing 30 times and it doesn't even flinch, find another weapon!!

32.  Swiss army knives are your friends.

33.  Love has its limits...let the formerly human zombie-parasite ex-dreamboat go.

14. If you unplug the phone from the wall and it rings, don't answer it!

Right!?!

[SenkoTwiik]

34. If you find a totally weird looking artifact in an antique store that the owner says is NOT for sale, DON'T insist. Leave it alone.

35. Dont take the "short cut" through the back roads in the south. If you're the passenger and the driver insists on this, punch them in the face.

[DaSpecial1]

36. Likewise smack the person that says "we should split into groups of two & search
     for it."

[lovelygoth101]

37. When asking for directions, don't stop at the gas station where there is a creepy redneck with motor oil all over himself...he is either helping the badguys or is one of the bad guys and will only lead you to trouble.