1001 things I've learned from watching horror movies

[Theraven]

38. If the forest looks dark and creepy - don't enter.

39. If you absolutely have to enter, stay clear from the tiny little house in the middle of it.

40. Whatever you do - don't get lost in said forest...

41. If you hear strange noises form the attic, especially if it's midnight or full moon - whatever you do, don't go to check what it is.

42. If one of your friends all of a sudden gets a really great idea - "Hey - let's sleep over in that really creepy ghost house down the street, at midnight, with only a flashlight each" - Say no.

43. Monsters usually runs faster than you, so if you ever have to run from one - use a car.

[SenkoTwiik]

44. Don't walk home by yourself...especially at night...ESPECIALLY if you're female.

45. In the world of horror movies, it's good to be disabled in some way. For some reason the disabled people usually live.

46. If you are offered money to stay the night in a house where a whole bunch of murders too place, say no. You won't live long enough to get the money.

47. If you don't "give it up" for your boyfriend, he WILL try to kill you eventually.

48. If you have been drinking or doing drugs...don't try to run away from the killer. Somehow you will always trip and break a bone or get your foot caught in something.

[Theraven]

49. If you try to hide out at a public place, DON'T choose a school. For some reason monsters like to hide out at schools.

50. Cute little girls and their mothers are most likely to survive an attack. Big brave men - not so much.

51. helicopters is the only safe way to get out of a zombie/monster/alien attack.

52. Stay away from pools at midnight.

53. Don't go looking for monsters. They especially like when dinner (or victims) serves itself...

54. Stay away from graveyards at midnight (Do I really have to tell you that?)

[SenkoTwiik]

55. If the killer pokes his head into your doggie door to scare you, DON'T scream and run away. Take this opportunity he has left himself helpless in, and kick his jaw off, stab him in the face, throw the always present pot of boiling water in his face, ANYTHING!

56. Never pick on the kid that everyone else picks on. This could save your life when he/she goes nuts.

57. Never pick up hitch hikers, no matter how pretty they are or how helpless they look.

58. If you have a really nice mom that you're incredibly close to, watch out, she's going to die.

59. If you are in your car, trying to get away from the psycho that's after you, LOOK at where you're putting your keys. Don't just blindly stab around for the ignition while screaming your head off and looking out the windows.

[DaSpecial1]

OMG, I can't catch my breath

60.  Psycho-killer Jason/Freddie type killers LOVE the suburbs.

61.  Lycans, Vampires, parasitic alien creatures, Humongous reptilians or
     chameleon types however, totally dig the city.

[SenkoTwiik]

62. Never blow off that horrible feeling you have about something as "just nothing."

63. Don't be pretty. Ugly girls never get stalked and murdered.

64. If a strange IM pops up on your computer, for God's sake don't tell this person everything about yourself. You're just asking for it.

65. When you know there's a killer outside, and your dad should be home any minute, there is going to be a knock at the door. LOOK out the peep hole or window before you open the door. It is most likely not your dad.

66. If you have just gotten out of the shower and you hear a weird noise, dry your feet before walking down your wood-floor hall to investigate. This way you won't slip and crack your head open when an intruder jumps out.

[DaSpecial1]

67. The Wizard of OZ was a lie...scarecrows are wicked evil . (yes I needed both adjectives)

[caffeinated.joy]

68. Don't stoop to bend over the fallen psycho killer to make sure he's dead. He's not. He's faking. Trust me on this. Just run. Run fast. (And remember...go outside, idiot, not upstairs!)

69. If you need to escape, it's best to avoid the car altogether. It will either be out of gas, stall, or suddenly and mysteriously have brakes that no longer work (but which worked perfectly when you last drove it.)

70. Basements are bad. So are attics.

71. The boogeyman does exist.

72. Pig's blood is never a good ingredient for a prank.

73. If you're running on foot from a psycho in a car, for God's sake, don't run down the middle of the road!

[Glamily]

74. If your outside, don't go near that well that a girl fell down!

75. Don't wear a short dress, its never good to be running away from the psycho and have him/her/it looking up your dress before it kills you.

76. Don't go in the sewers, even if your looking for your ex-girlfriends.

[Katie]

78. Quit thinking you could just be freinds, he'll either kill you or overtake your body to kill others with

79. For chrissake if you hit a child with a car and he's perfectly fine don't call him a bad word, get out of there!

80. If your freind is being tortured by some creepy demon don't make a point to visit her at her house at midnight. Ever.

81. Throw away all mirrors, before someone uses them to kill you by breaking them and jabbing you, or jumping through them, or even you breaking it and getting "bad luck"

[DaSpecial1]

82. Your friend's sudden ability to float like the thing that was chasing you both, probably means he's on their side now.

83.  If you go on a camping trip get a really big tent. That thing can only attack tents with a capacity of 2 or less.

84.  Don't stop to confess your love to your crush/sweetie until after you escape.

85.  If you've hidden in a random house to escape and the phone rings don't answer it.

86.  Maniac's cellphone batteries never die & they also never lose their signal   (can I sign up with that company please!?).

[caffeinated.joy]

87. Never read a demonic book of summoning out loud, even as a joke.

88. Never assume it's your naked boyfriend/girlfriend under the sheets.

89. The crazy old guy everyone is laughing at really does know what he's talking about.

90. If a strange voice whispers your name in a house you're completely alone in, leave immediately through the nearest exit. If there is no exit, make one.

91. Never touch the TV calling your name.

[Carlwashere]

92. If the person your being haunted by is crazy for puppets, a plane trip is smarter than going to HER old theatre. (I forgot what movie was that from)
93. Learn how to shoot a gun instead of running in a panic.
94. Your chances of survival drop 10% each time you meet one of the following traits: leader, brave, tough, smart, tall, armed, depended on, male, rationalizing, possible love interest, hottie
Edit: hottie added to trait list  

[DaSpecial1]

*adds "hottie" to the trait list.*

[SenkoTwiik]

95. Don't be too bothered by the fat annoying guy. He's going to get killed in the next 30 minutes.

96. If you're an orphan, adopted, or have one deceased parent, chances are you are going to find out something completely weird about your family history.

97. If you wake up in a bath-tub full of ice, and there's a phone next to you, for God's sake use it to call 911. Don't try to stand up.

98. Never split from the rest of the group because you have to pee. Hold it.

99. When you think you have killed the psycho, don't throw down your weapon and run to the aid of your beloved. You're going to need the weapon again soon.