1001 things I've learned from watching horror movies

[caffeinated.joy]

215. Don't swim in said public swimming pool when it's dark and you're alone.

[SenkoTwiik]

216. The extremely sexy girl is always bad news. But for some reason that "girl next door" that you know would have herpes in real life, is totally safe in horror movies.

217. Hang out with the tough, mean girl. She will always fight her way out of her problems.

218. Biogenetic experiments have no limits.

[caffeinated.joy]

219. Virus outbreaks always start in monkeys and jump to humans.

220. Any person waking up from a nightmare will sit bolt upright, panting and sweating like they've just run the two-minute mile.

221. The serial killer is usually someone you know. Look to your friends and relatives with suspicion.

222. Never have sex. This is when the killer will find you and both you and your partner through with a machete.

[Carlwashere]

(Haha, I really like 220.)

223. The serial killer is usually weightless, never making a sound before he appears out of nowhere.
224. He also never seems to have to open any noisy doors either.
225. Or trip on stuff on the floor he can't see because of how dark it is.
226. Or set off that chime you hear when you open a main door in your average home with a security alarm.

[SenkoTwiik]

227. Everyone in horror movies is skinny and attractive.

228. Never go to summer camp for any reason.

229. Even if you just got done giving birth, breaking your leg, etc, you can still get up and save the day.

230. Everyone that wakes up from a nightmare always seems to do so at 3 am.

231. Everyone's phone number always starts with "555" and has 20 digits.

[caffeinated.joy]

232. A single match casts enough light to illuminate a room the size of a football stadium.

233. Being a camp counselor in a summer camp is a death sentence.

[SenkoTwiik]

234. The pretty, preppy cheerleader always gets killed for being a total b-word.

235. For some reason, neighbors never notice the stench of rotting bodies coming from the serial killer's place next door.

236. All sleezy motels are dangerous. Never stop there, wait until you get to Vegas.

[Carlwashere]

237. A small barely populated town is a bad place to stop.
238. Everyone dies except for the short pretty girl who didn't do anything.

[caffeinated.joy]

239. If you're running away from the monster, expect to trip at least once or twice. More if your attractive and female.

240. If the way out is only wide enough for one person at a time, for God's sake, don't volunteer to go last. You'll be sure to gain a new accessory in the form of a sharp implement sticking out from between your shoulder blades.

[SenkoTwiik]

241. The soul survivor of a serial murder is never looked at as a suspect.

242. After the serial killer is dead, everything ends happily ever after. The law doesn't ask questions.

243. Little yappy, fluffy dogs always get killed.

[DaSpecial1]

244. Convicted serial killers always get the maximum sentence (unlike life) but don't get comfy they'll be escaping soon.

245.  If said killer get sentenced to death and does actually pay with his life, he'll be coming back for revenge and he'll be unstoppable.

246. If your little yappy dog barks furiously for a while, yelps out in pain, whimpers then goes silent don't sigh with relief & roll over--run!!!  ( thx Senko )

[SenkoTwiik]

247. Slobbering drunk people can run pretty fast when they fear for their lives.

248. It's incredibly easy to kill people without leaving a single trace of yourself behind.

[DaSpecial1]

249. If a new girl joins your class say hi like everyone else or shut up.

250. Enjoy the two adorable kids you already have.

251. The quiet perfectly behaved child is not the one to adopt.

252.  If you suspect your newly adopted child of being a psychopathic serial killer then never let your other kids out of your sight...idiot.

[SenkoTwiik]

253. Don't adopt kids over the age of 2, they're usually insane at that age anyway.

254. If your son's nanny creeps you out, fire her.

255. If you're the rich wife of an embassador and you have only one kid and no job of your own, you don't need a friggin nanny in the first place. Take care of your psychotic, demonic kid by yourself.

[DaSpecial1]

256. Really scary things only like to torment you when the lights are off.

257.  Be considerate of your friends.  If the thing only wants you, go off and fight it alone, don't drag them into it.

258. Dogs with upside-down heads look mad creepy. The good thing is they only go after fear.  Tell them you've seen scarier things in Disney movies so back off, & they will.