1001 things I've learned from watching horror movies

[DaSpecial1]

288. Really bad guys can do insane stuff, like sew their faces back together with a needle and thread, and barely flinch.

[Katie]

289. Yes, you can burn them, but they will come back to life somehow anyways, and be mad at you and try to kill you.

290. If someone was murdered in a house, and you move in, the person who was murdered is a psycho ghosty-thingy and will try to kill you.

[SenkoTwiik]

291. Said ghost can be gotten rid of if you help avenge his/her/their death.

292. Everyone has at least ONE psychic friend.

[Katie]

293. Insulting someone trying to kill you will just make them laugh.

294. If you are pinned down and about to be killed, your phone is out of reach somehow, and yet, still, you manage to grab it in time.

[Carlwashere]

295. Zombies apocalypses always have groups of survivors made up of 3-4 men and 1-3 women.

[SenkoTwiik]

296. If you're hemmorhaging (sp) during pregnancy but you don't miscarry, something is going in with your kid.

297. If you're a virgin and you get pregnant, don't think that you're the Virgin de Guadalupe. You're not...you have an alien incubating inside of you.

298. Doctors and dentists are always guilty of doing terrible things to people.

[Katie]

299. Odds are, if you are pregnant with a non-human it will eat it's way out of your stomach.

[SenkoTwiik]

300. If it doesn't eat its way out of your stomach, it will eat all of your insides and wear your skin as a disguise!

[DaSpecial1]

301. If you suddenly begin having psychic visions, that come true shortly after you have them, use them to your advantage instead of freaking out and letting all your friends die horribly.

[Carlwashere]

302. If you get trapped by a psychopath who wants you to do something completely messed up, like get a key out from behind your eye, just don't do anything and die. It's a lot less fun for the psychopath, and you're screwed either way anyway.   
(Guess which movie?)

[SenkoTwiik]

(The human will to live is amazing, aint it?)

303. Male vampires are usually Suave looking.

304. All women in horror flicks are attracted to sissy boys (the Suave vampire type).

305. Vampires hiss annoyingly.

[Carlwashere]

(yup)
306. Vampires used to bite like there's no tomorrow, but now they avoid biting anyone.
307. Puppets are freaky. That should explain itself.

[DaSpecial1]

308. Vampires are mad sexy but way broody nowadays.

309. Werewolves and vampires don't get along.

310.  Evil vampires are messy when they eat.

311.  Nannies are not all nice.

312.Good nannies attract evil spawn.

[Glamily]

313. The outcast at school will come back and kill you all

314. The one who is scared of everything will live.

[Carlwashere]

315. Paranoid people know more than you.