Chapter 3
That morning I was beat so tired I barely heard the alarm go off. Tim
was running late too he hadn't even said goodmorning he had bolted out
of bed and run into the shower to get ready for work. The kitchen was
cold and it was a cloudy dreary day outside. The sun didn't seem to
want to burn through the fog.
I hurried to make Tim his breakfast although I wanted to just run and
get back into bed.
Tim got out of the shower and seemed to be in a rotten mood. I asked
him how his breakfast was and he snapped at me. It hurt my feelings
Tim was never moody in the morning so it caught me off guard. We both
ate our breakfast in silence.
Whatever gloom and funk was in the weather seemed to be magnified by
the ice between us that morning.
Then Tim got up and walked out. Just like that without saying goodbye
or giving me a kiss. Something he had never done before. Tim had
always been very affectionate and warm toward me. I watched him leave
with surprised hurt. Little did I know it was the a prelude to how
things would be from now on.
Our relationship had become pretty much non-existant. Tim's mood was
sullen and very quiet. He didn't want to talk, make love he didn't
want anything to do with me.
When I would try to talk to him he would either leave or go to bed.
Another upsetting factor was Tim's drinking. Every evening he would
bring a case of beer and sit in front of the tv guzzling it down in
silence.
Whenever I was actually able to get his attention we fought about
everything. He blamed me for everything under the sun. It got to the
point where I left him alone for fear of his violent temper.
It was around this time that I found out I was pregnant. Tim's
reaction to the news was heartbreakingly uninterested. He continued to
ignore me and I walked around in a daze wondering what had happened to
us.
One day I sat down next to him while he drank his beer in silence and
glared at the tv with the usual blank stare. I had been crying all day
I had to know what was wrong with him. Why he was pushing me away?
Why he was he so angry at me?
I decided to pour my heart out to him. To beg him to talk to me.
I took a deep breath and held back my tears. I didn't want to make
this an emotional outburst. I needed Tim to really hear me not my
emotions.
"Tim" I started slowly...."What is happening to us?" "Don't you love
me anymore?" as I said those words I looked into Tim's eyes and the
room turned dark. My head began to spin as I struggled to keep my eyes
open I saw surrounded by blackness the form of Tim's body and face but
his eyes were black holes and his mouth was twisted in an ugly scowl.
And I heard a raspy growling voice say through that misshapen monstrous
face....."LOOOOOOOOOVVVVVV Yoooooooo?
??
I felt myself go faint as I recoiled from the hideous figure. All of a
sudden I could hear Tim's voice yelling from a distance....
ILINA!!! ILINA!! WHY ARE YOU SCREAMING?
Just as quickly as the horrible vision had started it was over. I had
an overwhelming urge to vomit but my vision had returned to normal.
Tim's face appeared irrated more so than concerned.
Things continued to be bad between us for pretty much the rest of my
pregnancy. I learned to stay away from Tim when he was drinking. I
frankly was afraid of his temper. He was only interested in his beer
and tv.
My nerves were shot. I wasn't sleeping well and I was so afraid my
stress would affect the baby. When I couldn't take it anymore I
mentioned it to my midwife Angie. I had decided on a natural child
birth at home and she was wonderful. She came to my home to see me and
examine me every week toward the end. She knew things were not good
between Tim and I.
She wanted me to go to counselling with Tim. She had even written down
the name of a therapist. But Tim had flatly refused.
"Well Ilina this baby looks good and ready to come out" Angie announced
during her exam. "Really?" I said. I was ready for my baby to be born
finally. I had decided if Tim's attitude had not changed by the time
the baby was born I was going to leave him. I would not expose our
child to his violent nasty temper and drinking. I had made up my mind
about that.
"Angie I am just not sleeping at all I'm so tired and with all the
trouble with Tim my nerves are shot."
"Hmm...things have not gotten better then...Ilina I am going to have an
intern come spend the afternoons with you. She will keep you
company,clean up and keep an eye on you until the baby is born. Just
to make sure you will be ok." "I'm going to put you on a light bedrest
until I am sure you are sleeping better ok dear?"
I tried to stay in bed as much as I could and Maddie the intern made my
afternoons pleasant with her chatter. I kept an eye on Tim he was as
cold and weird as ever. He and his beer were never apart for long.
I hired a decorator to finish the babies room since Tim wouldn't do it.
I would linger in there each day and cry thinking about what I was
bringing our poor baby into. A house of stony silence and misery.
Even the soft pretty infant colors couldn't shake the feeling of
darkness in that house.
One night I layed in bed I started to drift off to the sound of Tim's loud snoring....with all his drinking his snoring had become unbearable lately but sleep finally came and took me to a familiar place. The place where I would sit and speak to the pale woman who continued to haunt my dreams.
It had become a familar place almost like a nightly appointment with the netherworld. The woman never told me her name she would talk to me about her world.
She spoke about others like herself who had once been people but were not prisoners of evil entities she called the feeders. She told me if you awaken them then they will take you after you die. They are not human she explained softly. But pre-human. Our world had once belong to them but "The Almighty Source" had become disgusted with his creation and wiped out their world. Now they had been cursed into the realm of the dead or imprisoned with the spirits of their own replacements and their hatred for the sons and daughters of Adam was very great indeed.
As I sat listening to the pale woman I heard a crackling noise that became intense and finally deafening. The pale woman turned and looked at me intently and told me you must go back now they are there! "Who?" I asked confused. "Your husband Ilina they are after him!"
"What are they doing to him?? Tell me!" I demanded.
She turned her lovely face and told me "They are eating his heart Ilina."
