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Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
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Music_Is_Life
Member
Posts: 70
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
on:
August 22, 2008, 07:27:24 pm »
This is my first story to ever be posted
ever
(Sim related or not). I know the pictures leave a lot to be desired, but this is only the first chapter and after taking the pictures for it I figured out how to take better ones (typical). Please bear with me, and constructive critism is much appreciated. So, without further rambling, I introduce to you... Chapter One (of my sure to be sucktastic story xD)
Chapter 1
It was a rainy Saturday morning around seven when they arrived. The surrounding mansions were dark, both due to the facts that the inhabitants would never wake up this early and because most were on vacation. It happened every time this year; the rich families living in the neighborhood would decide to go on vacation until warmer and drier weather arrived. They approached one of the smaller mansions (which was actually small enough just to be considered a large house rather than a mansion) with a small figure trailing behind on all fours. Staying cloaked in the shadows, it was possible to tell only that there were two adult sized humans surveying the home. Slowly, all three climbed the stairs onto the front porch and paused. “You’re sure nobody will notice?” a male voice asked, shifting into view so he was now visible in the faint light.
“Of course they won’t. The neighbors are away on vacation. I doubt they would even notice if they weren’t, but it’s better to be safe than sorry. Besides, rumor has it this house is abandoned.” This voice was distinctly female, and that assumption was proven correct a second later when the woman stepped into the light as well.
“Abandoned? Who in their right mind would abandon this?” the male asked, gesturing to the house he was standing in front of. He had a good point - while the surrounding homes were much larger and grander, it was impossible to deny the house was beautiful and impressive on its own, just as it was impossible to deny the beauty of the two standing in front of it. Both the man and the woman had dark black hair that provided a great contrast against their pale skin, and they both seemed to possess eyes which had a strange purple tint to them, which drew attention subtly. There was so much else to see on both of them, from their strangely skinny yet muscular figures to their clothes, which were casual but unique, especially in that particular area, that their eyes were rarely the first thing taken in when people saw them. Yet, once you saw their eyes you’d find yourself wondering how you had ever missed them in the first place.
“Someone who didn’t have a choice,” the woman said with a small smirk.
“What if somebody notices Roscoe?”
“Nobody would be able to notice Roscoe if you hadn’t decided to keep the thing in the first place.” The smirk that had been on her face was quickly replaced with a scowl as she glanced at a grey cat standing in the grass near them.
“Madison, don’t be that way. You know you like him; you’re just too stubborn to admit it.”
The woman, Madison, shook her head before continuing. “I don’t like the cat, Matthew. We were better off without him. Besides, it’s true. Somebody’s bound to get suspicious when they notice a cat that wasn’t living here before.”
“Yet they won’t notice a new couple?” Matthew pointed out with a small laugh.
Sighing once, Madison chose to ignore Matthew. “Come on, let’s get settled in here.
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lilroselou
Member
Posts: 65
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #1 on:
August 23, 2008, 09:57:04 am »
wow very good first story, one of the best new stories on the forum, i like that it's mysterious - i hate to have the entire plot predictable and obvious to me! shall be lurking on this story, cant wait to see where its headed and is nice to see a story that isnt about families and is back to the individual plotlines. fab!
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*PLEASE VISIT MY STORIES,
A PIECE OF LIFE
A ROMMY DRAMA/THRILLER ABOUT A COUPLE WHO CANT HAVE A BABY AND MEET A YOUNG PREGNANT STRANGER...
AND
[COLOR=mediumturquoise]
ASHWELL BROOKS
A MEDICAL DRAMA ABOUT THE NURSES AND PATIENTS OF ASHWELL BROOKS MEDICAL CENTER*[/COLOR]
Music_Is_Life
Member
Posts: 70
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #2 on:
August 23, 2008, 12:47:36 pm »
Yay, someone likes it so far!! I was nervous about posting this because usually whenever I write something I don't let anybody else read it because I think it's bad, so this is a new thing for me.
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Skori
Member
Posts: 190
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #3 on:
August 24, 2008, 11:26:35 am »
Your first chapter did perfectly what all good stories do: they draw the reader in. You left a lot of questions unanswered, and I LOVE IT when books do that. If there's one thing I can't stand, it's a story without a plot, and you're doing a very nice job of setting up the storyline.
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WARNING: The above post may contain correct grammar, punctuation, and spelling according to the English Language. Side effects may include text blocks, crafty metaphors, and long RP posts. Use as directed.
:thumbup:
-
SPUNK
RANSOM
FOR
PRESIDENT
-
:thumbup:
~Audrey :3
discowhipped
Member
Gender:
Posts: 202
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #4 on:
October 13, 2008, 10:02:49 pm »
Skori pretty much took the words right out of my mouth! You have a sophisticated writing style. I'm eagerly anticipating the next chapter!
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"It's not everyday that you discover you're trapped in a pixel world."
Suddenly Simmerised -
Read it!
Previously known as:
Squirt
Starwish001
Member
Posts: 85
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #5 on:
October 14, 2008, 06:20:54 am »
This is interesting, and the pictures are very beautiful! Waiting for update!
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Changes- my first sims story
http://www.insimenator.org/showthread.php?t=95435
Instant Family - ny new story!
http://www.insimenator.org/index.php/topic,100324.0.html
bigkitty75
Member
Posts: 47
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #6 on:
October 25, 2008, 12:45:22 pm »
Wow! This is GREAT!!!
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*BLOOD LOSS*
http://www.insimenator.org/showthread.php?t=97836
shibby559559
Member
Posts: 108
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #7 on:
October 25, 2008, 03:03:14 pm »
Heya, this is a really really good first story. I just posted my first story on here the other day so I know how worrying it is!
Its really really good. Well done x
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qtpie3552
Member
Posts: 99
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #8 on:
November 21, 2008, 12:03:13 am »
Great story! Your sims are so pretty!!
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Go check out my story, Starshine -
http://www.insimenator.org/showthread.php?p=1459065#post1459065
emoscenesk8r
Member
Posts: 1195
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #9 on:
November 21, 2008, 12:10:32 am »
oh mi gosh! its really good! I hope you upload the second one!
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Adorkable = (noun/adj) an adorable
dork
:smt106
Come join the rpg
Every rose has its thorn!
My name's Bailey!
Hey! Come check out
MY SIMS!
Music_Is_Life
Member
Posts: 70
Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #10 on:
November 21, 2008, 03:47:52 pm »
I'm getting around to it slowly. My procrastination has been beating me up for awhile now and my game hasn't been functioning lately, so I've reinstalled it. Now I have to remake the characters and household, but the second chapter will be up sometime soon-eventually.
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ghettoblaster
Member
Gender:
Posts: 161
Re: Deceptive Reality - Chapter 1
«
Reply #11 on:
February 18, 2009, 07:07:23 pm »
i really like it! you're a great writer
that boombox shirt on madison is really cool btw! where did you get it?
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--<br />the world's got a nosebleed
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