Chapter Two-Disaster Strikes Again!
Okay so the sesond date didn't start with lasagna like I had planned. Jason showed up early to "help out" but instead he hindered the process. I ended up burning the lasagna no thanks to him. I was slightly peeved since I was starving I had been looking forward to it all day. Jason saw how annoyed I was and started sweet talking me and of course I fell for it. I led him up to my bedroom. Jason only seemed interesting in kissing so me being an idiot let my guard down. That's when he made his move.
"Johnnie, I feel like I have to tell you this. I've never felt like this before with any girl. There's just something about you," Jason told me sincerely.
Cheesy, sure. But I bought it all the same.
"Really? It's been awhile since I felt like this."
I let Jason make love to me all night. It was incredible. Even more incredible was that he was there when I woke up in the morning. He even made me breakfast. My luck was really beginning to change.
When I got home from work Jason was gone. He didn't leave me a note, he was just gone. It's been two weeks since I've heard from him. I've been calling him at least six times a day. I talked to Sherry about him and she hasn't heard from him either. I was getting the distinct feeling I was being used. I was getting annoyed with Jason. I decided to call him again.
"Jason, it me again. Johnnie. Remember me. Piercings, tattoos, red and black streaked hair. Oh yeah and we slept together two weeks ago. I'm not trying to stalk you, I just want to know what's going on with us. If there even is an us. If you don't want to see me just call me so I know if I should move on."
I hung up and paced around my livingroom. I really hate being used. If he wanted to use me the least he could do is be man enough to tell me.
Two months and still no word from Jason. Sherry is beginning to get worried too. Jason was....is one of her close friends and she hasn't heard from him either. I've given up calling him. Whatever relationship we might have had is over now. I decided to take up kickboxing to get rid of some of my frustration. I like pretending the bag is Jason. Work was getting tough, I'm taking night classes so I can got to Veterinary school, and I might be pregnant. Like my life isn't hectic enough. What am I going to do with a baby? As you can see I've never really been the motherly type. I'm dreading going to the doctor because in my mind if I don't go to the doctor than I'm not really pregnant. So my logic might not make sense to you but it helps me sleep at night.
Oh no!! I've got morning sickness and a nice little bump where my flat tummy used to be. I can't keep denying it. I'm pregnant. I'm thinking of putting the baby up for adoption. I'm sure there's a nice family that will be able to give it a better life than me. I'm a selfish workaholic. This baby deserves better. I've also got to have a nice long talk with my supervisor. Since I'm pregnant I won't be able to work in the lab. Lab animals and dangerous chemicals are no-nos for pregnant woman. I'm kind of scared that I might get fired. I've only been at the lab for six months so I'm probably replaceable. I feel like crying. Damn these hormones.
Here I am, six months along. I've been going to the doctor regularly like a good pregnant girl. When the doctor told me I was having a girl, I'll admit it, I was really excited. I'm still not sure if I'm keeping her, but I'm seriously thinking about it. I didn't get fired, thankfully. I've just been stuck doing paperwork and answering phones. It's easy work and I'm still getting my normal salary, but I miss the lab and the animals. I'm still going to night school even though it's starting to take its toll on me. But when I start doing too much she lets me know with a good kick to my kidneys or bladder.
"Hey Little One. I'm trying real hard not to get too attached. Well...more attached than I already am. After all we are sharing my body. I don't think I'm too good for you. I'll probably be a terrible mom. I'm selfish and I work too much. I'm sure there's a good family out there who will give you what you need," I told her as I rubbed my belly.
Sherry is a good friend or at least she tries to be. She set me up on another blind date with some clerk named David. I have no problem with him being a clerk but he refuses to take off his work apron. The only time he takes it off is when he sleeps and showers. Weird. Even weirder is that he has a thing for pregnant women. Lucky me. I only agreed to meet this guy cause Sherry still feels bad about Jason. David isn't bad looking but he seems a bit creepy.
"So Johnnie Walker huh? Did you know you were named after whiskey? Did your parents like to drink?"
"Yeah I know I'm named after whiskey and yeah my parents LOVE to drink."
"You know it's not safe for pregnant women to drink," David snapped.
"I don't drink you idiot!"
Sherry is so going to pay for this.
My "date" with David is going downhill. He is obsessed with trying to rub my belly even though I've told him not to. He just does not get the hint. I do not want this guy touching me.
"Do you know who the baby's father is," David asked me suddenly.
Is he trying to suggest something? What does it matter to him?
"Yeah. Her dad is an ex."
"So I guess you're putting the baby up for adoption then."
I'm getting really aggravated with this guy.
"No I've decided to keep HER," I informed him coldly.
"What?! You're an idiot. You can't raise the baby on your own."
"Yes I can. I have a good job and I'm very responsible."
"But you're not very bright. The baby deserves better than just you."
"That is it! I've had it with you. GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!!"
Who does he think he is? Calling me an idiot! Insinuating I'm not going to be a good mom. He is so lucky my belly's so big or else I might have used him as a punching bag.
After two pints of Ben & Jerry's and a nice hot bubblebath I was ready for bed. But once I got into bed and I tried to sleep I couldn't. I had too much on my mind so I laid on my covers, thinking. I thought about Jason who even though he used me I couldn't help but wonder what happened to him. I wanted to tell him about his daughter. And now that I decided to keep her I hoped I was the kind of mom she deserved. I thought about how she's been restless the past few days, moving and kicking. I wondered if she was ready to come out. Part of me hoped she wasn't coming soon cause I was not ready for her, yet. I also had to think of a way to keep my mom from coming to help me with the baby. I love her dearly and appreciate her offer but she'll drive me batty. I better try and get some sleep before anymore terrifying thoughts pop into my head.
I'll spare you all the gory hospital pictures. Besides there was no way I was letting anyone take my picture with me looking that bad. Those would be known as blackmail pictures. Anyways on September 13th at 7:13 AM Anna Lynne Walker entered the world. She was a 6lb 5oz, 19 in squirming, screaming bundle of joy. She was so beautiful and perfect. And I was absolutely terrified, I'm a mom now. My life was...is going to change drastically. But I can handle it...I hope. It's a little nerve wracking knowing my life is going to be bottles, dirty diapers, and sleepless nights for awhile. How did my mom do this? I definately need to thank my mom for everything. Now I feel kind of bad for asking her not to come. She seemed to understand though. She even sent the Hello Kitty crib and changing table for Anna. I'll have to remember to ask mom if she had the overwhelming urge to check on me as often as I check on Anna.
Anna's two months old now and I've finally gotten a sleep pattern. I'm a little worried about how I'm going to manage all this when I go back to work. While she was taking her afternoon nap I decided I better pay some bills. I was putting them in the mailbox when Bella started barking at someone or something. I turned around and almost passed out. I was staring at Martin Agnelli, my first love. He was the captain of the football, wrestling, and baseball teams and I was the nerdy rebel. But somehow we were good together. Until he dumped me and broke my heart.
"Martin? Is that really you," I asked
"Yeah it me, Johnnie. So how's life treating you? You look really good," Martin said as he pulled me into a hug.
Goddess how I missed being in those arms. I didn't want to pull away and Martin didn't seem to eager to let me go either.
"I'm good, Martin. I actually had a baby a couple months ago. A little girl, her name is Anna," I mumured into his neck.
As I Martin and I talked with me still in his arms I couldn't help but wonder if my life was going to get even more complicated. A new baby, my struggle to become a vet, and the return of my first love.[/SIZE][/FONT][/B]
