Re: The Dumbest Thing Your Spouse/SO has Ever Said or Done

[DaSpecial1]

I spend way too much time being stunned...I have got to come up with great quips like that.

[SenkoTwiik]

Oh man! How the heck did you do it without the epidural? I tried but had a panic attack and needed to get it because I wasn't breathing.

Anywho, I had to get induced, because Daemian showed no sign of wanting to come out at all, and the doctor said he was a risk if I let him get any bigger. I wasn't allowed to eat or anything, and my husband decides to get a big ol burger right before we get to the hospital. I was starvin and angry at him.

[DaSpecial1]

Oh man! How the heck did you do it without the epidural? I tried but had a panic attack and needed to get it because I wasn't breathing.

Anywho, I had to get induced, because Daemian showed no sign of wanting to come out at all, and the doctor said he was a risk if I let him get any bigger. I wasn't allowed to eat or anything, and my husband decides to get a big ol burger right before we get to the hospital. I was starvin and angry at him.

That"s what I was talking about!  Enjoying juicy food when you're in pain and starving.  About the epidural...after 2 weeks & 36 hours of irregular labor the doctors said my pelvic bone was too small and I had to have a C-section.  Ah the wonderous timing of modern medicine.

So I'm all stressed about having the darn epi and my spouse says "Wow they could have delivered you a couple weeks ago then huh?"

Yep hands off ladies--this one's all mine.

[soulofthesea]

two weeks and 36 hours?! wtf?!? how did you get through all of that, sister? even Chuck Norris' mom was in labor for a week with him! hell, my mom couldn't even handle twelve hours when she was in labor with me! then again, all I was doing was just sitting there, not doing anything or helping speed up the process, and they had to get me out via c-section.

wait a minute, are you ladies going into dumb labor moments now?

[SenkoTwiik]

Hehe, dumb labor moments.
I had 25 hours of pushing because Daemian was like you, Soul, just kickin back. I could still move my legs and stuff after my epi was done. But it killed all the pain. I was up and walking right after they took it out (3 hours after birth).

My dumb labor moment: When Daemian finally came out, I was like, "Oh my god, it's a baby!" The first thing he did when he came out was pee on me lap.

[DaSpecial1]

two weeks and 36 hours?! wtf?!? how did you get through all of that, sister? even Chuck Norris' mom was in labor for a week with him! hell, my mom couldn't even handle twelve hours when she was in labor with me! then again, all I was doing was just sitting there, not doing anything or helping speed up the process, and they had to get me out via c-section.

Exactly soul.  I delivered at 42 1/2 weeks.  Everytime I hear someone say pregnancy lasts nine months I wish Acme Inc. would deliver a cartoon anvil.

wait a minute, are you ladies going into dumb labor moments now?

That's unavoidable Soul so very many dumb spousal moments come during labor...come to think of it they come any ole time .

Senko you said it's a baby? You expected an adult maybe? That would have been quite a delivery

[SenkoTwiik]

Haha, that would have hurt a heck of a lot more than Daemian's huge head. I have no idea why I said that. I think it was because he looked like a doll when he was coming out, and then when he was out all the way, he started moving around and I was like 'whoa, now he looks totally real'.

Does anyone else's husband do this?

Me: Do you want anything while I'm up?
Brandon: No (playing a game or watching a movie)
Me:(sits down)
Brandon: Babe, can you get me a soda?

[soulofthesea]

*raises hand sheepishly* I did that with my ex one time.

[DaSpecial1]

  <---my raised hand... of course to be totally fair I may have been the offender once or twice

[SenkoTwiik]

Brandon once tried to go to bed one night and he left like EVERYTHING on in the house. He got into bed and didn't notice he left the stove and almost every light in the house (including the bedroom light) and the tv on. He got into bed and just laid there quietly and I just looked at him and asked if he was forgetting anything. He had to get up twice before he got it under control.

Update:
I just now had a memory of another ridiculous thing he did. When we lived in our old house. He was in the kitchen, and I was in the living room. I asked him to give me some of the water he just took a drink out of (it was a 1 liter bottle). He said okay and decided to throw it to me. But he forgot one minor detail, putting the cap back on! There was water everywhere.

[DaSpecial1]

I just now had a memory of another ridiculous thing he did. When we lived in our old house. He was in the kitchen, and I was in the living room. I asked him to give me some of the water he just took a drink out of (it was a 1 liter bottle). He said okay and decided to throw it to me. But he forgot one minor detail, putting the cap back on! There was water everywhere.

[ladymiriam]

Not the dumbest, just the latest-guess which one is the two year old.

Elijah: Poo on the window, sea gull did it
Jamie: Did a sea gull poo on the window?
Elijah: Yes, tiny little sea gull
Jamie: Sea gulls aren't tiny-they're bigger than birds.

Oh, and the story about the old man and the rocket up the butt-so so funny, I had to let my partner read it because I couldn't speak for laughing.

[Theraven]

^ 

Yesterday, somebody in my boyfriend's family threw a party. I was all for taking the bus home around 12, and as far as I can remember he wanted that too... until the clock was 3.30, and we were still there (with me falling asleep on the couch, and he still being a party animal).

We had to take a taxi home (which ended up being around 130 usd, I think. The bus would've been around 8 usd).
We also had to walk the last few miles (tired, in the cold, me complaining), because Mr. smart did not want to pay more for the taxi...
I say, if it's his fault - then he pays...  

At least I still remember everything that happened (I don't touch alcohol myself). Dunno about him. He's still occupying my bed, sleeping...  

[ladymiriam]

Jamie phones me in a panic telling me that I have to phone my bank because he'd taken over £100 out the cash machine but somehow managed to not pick it up.  He'd phoned the garage where he got the money but they said there was no money left in the machine.  Apparantly if this happens the machine automatically takes the money back in if it isn't taken within a certain period of time-if someone else doesn't get there first.  Anyway, the bank tells me that so far it looks ok but could take up to 3 days for the payment to be deducted if the money was taken by someone else.  I phone him back telling him the money hasn't been deducted and he decides to chance it and try and get the money out the machine again.  Then he phones me again to say that he went back to the machine and it was out of order-he hadn't even got as far as putting his card in the first time never mind getting the money!   

[DaSpecial1]

Wow that tops them all .  Nice to have a place to share these insanities .