Re: The Dumbest Thing Your Spouse/SO has Ever Said or Done

[Carlwashere]

That's freakin hilarious Paden! Are you still getting the pots and pans? 

[Katie]

Wow Paden, your hubby is... somthin!

[soulofthesea]

Carl, just don't be surprised when Paden starts rampaging the forums with a new set of shiny pots and pans.

[Paden]

Nope, no pots and pans, gift cards instead. Since I'm pretty much a shut in most of the time, I dunno when in the heck I'm supposed to use the stupid things, most likely I'll hand them over to the husband for when he needs gas to get back and forth to work.

[SenkoTwiik]

Okay, this one isn't by far the dumbest thing Brandon has said or done, but I thought you guys might get a kick out of it.

This morning, I was laying on the couch, feeling like absolute crap, and Brandon came to sit down beside me to be comforting. He was asking me if I was okay or if he could get me anything, when he stopped and just stared at my shirt. I sat up and was like, "What's wrong?" He just said, "That's amazing. They matched up the shadows perfectly."

I was really disoriented so I wasn't sure what he was saying for a minute, but I looked down and I was wearing my Homer Simspon shirt. It's blue and it has 5 images of Homer skipping across the front. Under Homer, there are shadows of each of his positions during his skip.

For some reason, Brandon was entralled at the idea that the artist who drew the picture "somehow" made the shadows match to reflect how Homer was skipping.

EDIT:

Here's another one Brandon did just recently. We were watching a movie together, and one of the characters was an older black man. Brandon turns to me and says, "Hey, doesn't that guy look a lot like Steve Martin?"

I of course look at him like he's on drugs, but say, "Oh yeah, just like him except he's black."
Brandon looks at like I'm the dumb one and says, "Uh, yeah. So is Steve Martin."
Me: "No, Brandon, he's the guy with the nose from Roxanne. He's caucasian and has really white hair."
Brandon: "Who am I thinking of then?"
Me: "Steve Harvey?"
Brandon: "Oh yeah! He's funny..."

We have had a similar conversation over Drew Barrymore and Hallie Berry.

[soulofthesea]

OK, so last Friday I was talking to my girlfriend about our possible plans for after graduation. You know, what classes we're planning on taking next year, what colleges we thinking of applying to, blah, blah, blah. So we start talking about what we plan on majoring in:

Me: "I'm thinking either Sound Recording or Radio, Television and Film."

Alexis: *all excited* "Hey! How 'bout you go into UT's Recording Technology program! Carlos is in there, he was your big brother, and you both get along really well, so it's all a perfect match!"

Me: *starring at her like she's on drugs* "Uh...yeah. 'Tis true that UT has a Recording Technology program, but Carlos is in the Radio, Television, and Film department. I thought you knew that. He is a part of your family!"

Alexis: *starring at me like a madman* ".....UT has an RTF program? I thought Carlos was at Sam Houston!"

Me: "Good God, you're crazy! How can you forget what college and department your own brother is in?!"

Alexis: *continues giving me a blank stare for a few minutes, and then slaps her forehead* "Oh my gosh, I'm so dumb..."

Feel free to reread that conversation and count how many things are wrong. And most of those things she said, she meant it, too!

[Katie]

Oh my gosh, that is the best I have heard in  along time!!!

[soulofthesea]

I know, Katie. We had a simliar discussion about Peter Cetera of Chicago and Daryl Hall of Hall and Oates, with me being the offender that time.

[Katie]

Wow, that's quite special!

[SenkoTwiik]

Brandon was sleeping on the couch (his favorite place to sleep when he has to work grave) this morning, and he "woke up" momentarily while I was feeding Rosie. I say "woke up" beause the lights were on, but no one was home, if you catch my drift. He just looked at me confused for a moment and I asked him what was wrong. He replied:

"...Oh! Nothin' I just thought Rosie was a 'Fire Extinguisher-Fighter for a minute."

 

The other day, he had another "sleep-talking" moment where he told my son, out of nowhere:

"Bub, make sure you don't spray 'butt-juice' everywhere."

Nothing provoked this. Daemian didn't fart or say that he had to poop or anything. After each of these instances, B went right back to sleep.

[DaSpecial1]

 

*Goes off to search online for baby firefighter gear*

[SenkoTwiik]

He did it again.
Today at about noon, both of the kids were asleep so I decided to lay down with Brandon for a power nap. He started trying to search my pockets (which I didn't have any on the pants I wore) and I asked him what he was doing. He replied, "Suzanne needs to go smoke." I was like, "What?" and he says, "I said... when you're done with the lift, you need to put it under the smoking area. Under."

Incase no one knows what a lift is, it's a platform that maintainence people stand in and when they press a button, the platform raises higher into the air. It's used to change lightbulbs in hard to reach places. And the smoking area at Brandon's work is on the ground floor. There is no way that a lift could be put under there.

And I have no idea who Suzanne is.

[daytonaraceway]

Well he rarely snores but when that happened to me the first couple times I thought he was faking . I was like who falls asleep mid-sentence?

I do. The hubby hates it.

[Theraven]

I think me and my boyfriend have serious communication problems. Sometimes I can try to explain something to him, and find myself still talking an hour or two later (or arguing, or trying to get a word through). And we're currently on the same 3D movie project...

ON the other hand, if I try to explain the exact same thing to one of my friends, she understands whatever it is in one or two short sentences.

Not exactly dumb, but... anyways.  

[Waya101]

To add a little equality:

A conversation with an ex-girlfriend a week before her birthday (We had only been dating a week)

Me: Hun
Ex: Yea?
Me: I am trying to figure out what to get you for your birthday, what is your favorite color?
Ex: (after thinking for a couple of moments) Clear
Me: insert cricket cherping sounds here, I had No idea what to say.
(btw, we only dated for about another 2 weeks)

Labor moments:
Right after my 1st wife had given birth to our son by C-section and they brought him up for us to see him.

Her: A baby! Whose baby is it?
Me: He is our baby
Her: No, my baby is right... (She starts tryiong to pat her stomach)
Her: Hey, that was our baby, bring him back here


In all fairness, anyone going through that would have their wits rattled for a while.