Re: The Dumbest Thing Your Spouse/SO has Ever Said or Done

[miserydoll]

Labor moments:
Right after my 1st wife had given birth to our son by C-section and they brought him up for us to see him.

Her: A baby! Whose baby is it?
Me: He is our baby
Her: No, my baby is right... (She starts tryiong to pat her stomach)
Her: Hey, that was our baby, bring him back here


In all fairness, anyone going through that would have their wits rattled for a while.

oh god, both my c-sections put me through a loop. Almost cried at the last one when they brought my baby to see me... I never get emotional like that, even when hormones are raging!

Hm, well.... as far as stupidity i can think of a lot, but most focus mainly around an ex....

So he has this thing with playing swords with random sticks he finds in his yard. Well, he made the stupid move of giving my one and a half year old son a skinny but long stick to play with. Of course, watching my ex and his brother playing swords influenced my son, so after a while he started to go after my ex with it.

So my ex calls me. "You need to have a chat with Connor."

"Um.....why?"

"He tried to beat me with his stick!!!"

"Um....why did he have a stick in the first place?"

"Cause Ricky (my ex's brother) and I were playing swords."

"And he was watching, and you expected him NOT to copy you? Joe, he adores you."

"I didn't know he would copy me. He's only a baby."

Tch. all the reasons I left him should be easily discernable.

[Jenna]

This morning was rather funny. I got woken up by this horrid smell coming from the kitchen, and when I went to investigate, I found the redhead fanning the smoke that was coming from the coffee pot.

Her: Well, I was trying to make coffee. Did you know putting milk into the water basin is a bad idea?
Me: Yeah...
Her: I also totally ruined my Cheerios when I realized I put the water in the bowl instead.

[soulofthesea]

Lol!!!! Nice! Who knew putting milk in the water basin was a bad idea?

[DaSpecial1]

[Ruffnut]

Jenna:

I went food shopping with my MIL and SIL(gggr, i hate the older one) and while there MIL bought Irish potatoes( For those who don't know they are little coconut balls(lol) rolled in cocoa and cinnamon, I believe). So she give me and hubby some and puts it int he ziplock. before leaving to go play poll with Dan and Becca, I mention to him that we have Irish coconut potatoes. He says okey and we leave.

Today, he comes in the room and asks,"Are those potatoes cooked?" I answer yes, because I assume he means our dinner(baked potatoes). He gives me a confused look, so I say," Wait what potatoes?" because apparently that's not what he meant. He nods towards ziplock with Irish potatoes. so I exclaim," Oh those! Of course they are! They are coconut and cinnamon.." He looks even more confused," They are irish potatoes, honey. It coconut rolled in cinnamon, it's candy!"
" Oh, well you said they are potatoes, so I assumed they are like baby potatoes of sorts..." He explained as he grabbed the ziplock and proceeded to eating them. Mind you, I did say they were coconut last night! XD

[Astraea Nevermore]

 

I have another one, this happened with my ex. It was our last day in a camping, and we were dressing and preparing stuff to leave. I'm just about to take my shoes, when I hear him complaining about something.
Me: "What? What happened?"
Him: "My grey socks... they just turned BLUE."
Me: "Look, you're in a BLUE TENT, of course they look blue! It's the effect of the light!"
Him *still in the tent, not even trying to get out to see if I was right*: "No, I tell you they turned blue. And my shirt turned blue, too!!! THERE'S SOMETHING IN THIS TENT TURNING THINGS BLUE!!!"
We go on for a while with the whole "it's blue", "no, it isn't" thing, 'till I get pissed off and take the socks from his hands, putting them in the sunlight. Perfectly grey socks.
Me: "So, what about your mysterious monster turning things blue, now?"
Him: "..."

I kept laughing at him for hours XD

[Theraven]

Talk about stupid, but I think that tops it, Astraea

[Astraea Nevermore]

Lol, definitely 

[SenkoTwiik]

Haha, that one was pretty damn good, Astraea.

Here's one B did a short while back:

He was cooking himself a pizza in the oven and it was ready to come out. So he put on the oven mit, took the pizza pan out of the oven and sat it down on top of the stove. He then took off the oven mit and sat it down on the counter. But he decided that the pan wasn't where he wanted it, so he tried to pick it up without the mit on and burned his finger. About 7 seconds later I hear him say, "Oh my GOD! I have got to get out of this kitchen or I might kill myself."

I say, "Why, what now?"

Brandon says back, "You know how I burnt my finger just seconds ago? Well, I was thinking to myself, 'That's hot. Better put the oven mit back on.' So I was going to grab the oven mit, but the pan was in the way. And I almost moved it with my bare hand again! To get to the oven mit!"

So he caught himself, but it was still just silly.

[Katie]

That's brilliant! 

[SenkoTwiik]

Here's an idiotic sleep-talking time that he did when we were first together. I was laying in bed and he grunted himself awake, going 'Hey. Hey" and I said

Me: What?
Ex-husband: I'm just, really mad at Matt and Tammy
Me: Why?
Ex: Because they keep picking on me, saying that I can't have you.
Me: No they didn't. When?
Ex: At work last night. And the hell of it is, there's this girl, and she used to be my BEST friend. And she keeps saying the same things as Matt and Tammy... You're a lesbian...ya know?
Me: What? Which friend?
Ex: I don't remember her name.
Me: How do you not remember her name if she used to be your best friend.
Ex: I don't know. I'm just mad right now.
Me: Well what shift does she work?
Ex: Huh?
Me: What shift does she work, D shift or E shift?
Ex: No, W.
Me: There is no W shift.